A second chance at happiness...

So last post we left off at what's going on now. How've I been since I made the decision to be happy? I've been, well, happy! I've grown up. You may laugh, but I did. I fell in love again unexpectedly in June. A different kind of love. A healthy love. A true, genuine love. I met Mikey at a part time job hostessing at a diner, and soon after, after a terrifying midnight encounter, met his 2 year old (now 3 year old) daughter Kaylee. Mikey and I began "seeing" each other June of 2009, and said our first "I love you"'s at the fourth of July fireworks. I've been through a lot in my life, and I knew this was something big. I found feelings I had never felt before with my husband. We connected on so many levels and I'd never felt so right with someone. I didn't have to change who I was to be with him, and I didn't need him to change to be what I wanted. He was what I wanted. We didn't waste time. Afterall, I've wasted enough time in my life. We both know what we want out of life and it's defined in each other. We moved in together in September and by November, I was peeing on a stick. Only rather than the usual frantic "please be negative, please be negative" little chant and rain dance I was so used to doing in the past, I found myself planted right in front of it watching it for the entire 3 minutes praying to God it would be positive. I had taken a digital test, and let me tell you, there was nothing more powerful than the word "Pregnant" displayed across the screen. I cried almost simultaneously and thanked God. Now, I've been pregnant once before, but had a miscarriage. We found out that we had technically lost the baby before we had even found out we were pregnant (looooong story, and as a result, I no longer see Dr. Sattar of Schenectady and I advise others to heed my advice) So to be sure, I wanted to take another test, maybe even two. It was a Friday night so Mikey was working till about 10. I jumped in my car to run up to Price Chopper which was all of a couple miles away from our apartment. Now--most of you know about my car, right? It's a death trap on wheels, and most of the time not even worth the $600 I paid for it. It's more of a lawn ornament than a mode of transportation. Unreliable doesn't even paint a close enough picture. This thing is a beast. I got in it, prayed it would start, and ran up to Price Chopper. I bought 2 pregnancy tests, and a card for "Daddy", that's how I wanted to tell him =] Even though this would be his second child, it would be my first and I wanted everything to be perfect and exciting. I hoped back in my car, turned the key, and...nothing. Tried again, nothing. Tried, tried, tried....nothing. This went on for a good half hour before I started frantically making phone calls. I had to be home before Mikey got home!! Everything needed to be perfect for when I told him the news! I mean, there had to be candles, and the card, and I had to find something pretty to wear and...just everything! I was hysterical when nothing was going my way and the only option was to wait for Mikey to come pick me up. I considered walking, but it was raining and, hello? I was pregnant! I had to be careful now! About 20 minutes later, we were driving home in Mikey's car, discussing how foolish it had been that I took the beast to Price Chopper when we know how unreliable it is. And all for a card? (I still had not told him the real reason I had gone) -Oh but the card is for you honey, I wanted to get you a card.- That helped a little, he apologized for getting angry and thanked me for thinking about him and he leaned over to give me a kiss. Once we got home, I sat him on the couch and asked if he wanted his card now. So not how I pictured it, no candles were lit, I was in sweats and my hair up in a pony tail, and still flustered from the car drama. But we sat on the couch and he opened my card. He read that we were pregnant and I was relieved when he smiled and hugged and kissed me and smiled some more. I took the other 2 tests, both reassuring my earlier discovery. We laughed and we danced around the house and we started talking about baby. I told my parents (well, my mom haha) the next day and he told his parents and little by little we told more and more people. Doctor visit number one was that Monday and they gave me an ultrasound right then and there because of my concerns from my previous pregnancy. Everyone wanted to be put at ease. Sure enough, there was a tiny little dot on the screen. That didn't really make me feel great, as I couldn't see a thing. But my doctor reassured me that the pregnancy sac was developing and I was roughly 4 weeks. She had me come back in 2 weeks to do another ultrasound to see my progress and that appointment made me feel much much better. This time, there was a distinct little bean on the monitor. Big enough to see and very reassuring considering 2 weeks ago there had been a tiny little dot in its place. The best part though? The best part was you could see a tiny little flutter in the bean. A heartbeat. Something I had never seen before. Proof that there really was life inside me. A very emotional time for all of us.
After a very nerve-racking first trimester (convinced that if I so much as sneezed wrong I'd miscarry again), I made it to my second trimester without being any worse for the wear. I have no horror stories, no typical first trimester gripes. I have been lucky, and blessed. Not a single stitch of morning sickness. At 20 weeks, we found out we're having a baby boy. I am beyond thrilled. I secretly hoped I'd be having a boy. While I'd love a girl too, it seems everyone is having girls. And that's great, but I've always wanted to be different. And ever since Vincent danced into my life, I've had it in my mind that I wanted a little boy. Besides, Mikey's not big into Nascar. I need someone I can take to the races and cheer on Dale Jr. with!!! =] So that brings us up to speed. At 22 1/2 weeks me, Mikey, and Kaylee are as happy as could be. Now you can follow us through our journey. And I'm super excited that you are. I'll be blogging every time I have a question, a worry, a celebration, to vent, to wonder, to just gush about how absolutely wonderful life is. Take it from someone who has hit rock bottom, life is full of wonderful things and is most definitely worth living. I don't even want to think about all I'd have missed out on...meeting my other half, the man I've been waiting my whole life for, growing up and making my own choices (and let me tell you, there's something so rewarding about making choices and being on your own. Everything we've bought or paid for has so much more meaning because it was earned and we worked hard for it), and being blessed with the most amazing gift of all. A baby.