So much for keeping up with my blog, huh? Jeez. I can't even say it's because I've been busy because, well, I really haven't been all that busy. I've just been lazy. So lazy. Where has all my engery gone? And just as I ask that question, I get an ever so familiar jab in my abdomen. Ah yes. Little man. He has stripped me of all my energy. But man, when he kicks away at me I can't help but smile and feel such an overwhelming sense of relief… it's unreal. Sure, I complain here and there because when it comes down to it, it is kind of exhausting for me and it's not the most comfortable feeling in the world. But honestly, can you blame me for secretly loving it? It's a constant reminder that there really is life inside me. And I love it because I get nervous more often than I'd like to admit, that something will go wrong. In my belly, I can't see him, I can't check him all over to make sure he's alright and he's not hurt or uncomfortable or sad or whatever. I have to just trust that my body knows what to do. And THAT is not very reassuring. Considering the last time I was pregnant my body decided it didn't want to take care of a baby. I pray that it's different now though. It is. I know it is, I mean hello? I'm 26 weeks. Pretty sure this ones a keeper. So call me crazy but I live for those moments I get a brief preview of the main attraction to come in a couple months. All the insanity and energy that is boy. I almost hold my breath between kicks. Though I must express my concern for the pattern he's been displaying…all the reading I've been doing says he's already established a pattern that he will maintain through birth and once he's a part of this world. A sleeping, waking pattern. And let me tell you, it ain't pretty. Daddy and I are in for a rrreeeaaallllll treat…he's never awake when I want him awake, and he's never sleeping when I want to sleep. I know, I know, welcome to mommy-hood. Oh, and, he's not going to kick on command people! That's my favorite. I get that a lot. "Well, make him kick or something, I want to feel him!" Oh sure, let me just tune in to our little mommy-son telepathic channel and send him your message. Um no, folks, it don't work that way. He's the boss now. I can wiggle and jiggle, and poke poke poke all I want, if he doesn't wanna, he ain't gonna. He's stubborn as mommy. Or daddy. He was doomed before he was even a twinkle in our eyes. He sleeps all day pretty much, and he's freakin Ronaldo at night. And we're not talkin' like 6, 7pm. No no, not until about 9 or 10. When I start to get cozy on the couch or head to bed and find that perfect spot. You know the one I'm talking about, where everything just conforms to your body, the pillows are perfectly placed to provide maximum comfort, if you move your foot an inch in either direction, it's cold and chills your whole body…Yup just when all my standards are met, he decides it's time to jump into action. And I hate to be upset because like I said, I live for those moments. But damn. This has been going on for a while now. And it's every night. And I'm tired!!! After about an hour of laying there tired to the max, I can usually calm him by rubbing my belly till we both fall back to sleep. But 2 hours later, he's up and roarin' to go and obviously, so am I whether I like it or not. ::sigh:: It's a vicious cycle. I can only pray when he is here it will be different. But baby books, doctors, and hand-me-down stories don't hold much hope for a promising night's sleep anytime in my future. Maybe when he's 10. My only saving grace is that Mikey will be able to help out so I can sleep a little <3 Michael…<3 Bless his heart, he doesn't get the credit he deserves. So let me just take a minute to brag about just how amazing my man is. He cooks. Boy does the man cook! Mmm mmm!!! I haven't had to whip out the meatloaf recipe once since we've been together. He cleans. And he cleans well!! To my standards even! Well, at least pretty close. More than I could ever hope for. The man gets as anal about the house getting messy as I do. I love it. And he's been a blessing all through this pregnancy. Granted, I have to say, I haven't been all THAT difficult to deal with. All point of view I'm sure, but still. I haven't had terrible mood swings or sudden attacks of hormones all too much. And it wasn't until just recently that I started getting uncomfortable, lazy, impatient and irritable. I can honestly say that I don't take it out on him though. The whole first and half the second trimester were cheerful and smooth sailing. Nothing but love and new baby bliss. And now, now that we're starting to get a glimpse of the ugly side of pregnancy, I can honestly say our love hasn't faultered but grown stronger. And he's stayed by my side for everything. He's always supportive and I love how protective he is of our baby boy. He's not even here yet and he's being the amazing daddy I know he is. ::sigh:: Just amazing. That's my man =] And he thinks I don't see the little things he does, like makes up the couch all nice with my blankets and snacks and the remote and stuff and candles or a fire going so I can get all cozy on the couch on my tv nights…or that he cleans the house at the first sign of mess…or that he makes me yummy dinner every night and he never leaves the dishes there expecting me to do them (I DO usually do them though okay? Don't think I'm getting a free ride here, I try to be fair afterall! I don't want to wear him out haha…he's so good to me. I'm so very lucky. <3 For everything. I thank God every day for all that I have been blessed with. I've come such a long way. Just a year ago I had gone astray, I was a completely different person, someone no one could be proud of. And now, here I am, a totally changed woman. Nothing about me is the same as it was a year ago. And again, I thank God for that. He didn't give up on me, He knew the person I had potential to be and he gave me the chance to grow into that person. A woman that people could be proud of. =]
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